what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
