Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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