Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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