We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
