i barfeds in our rink
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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