Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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