Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
