what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He shit in the fireplace
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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