i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
and you fell through a lawn chair
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
