seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
