Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
