Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
