Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
