Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
