I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
