she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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