I think I died a long time ago.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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