I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
