I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
