Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
