Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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