Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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