eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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