So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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