Where is the hickey?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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