so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
