I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
