didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
