i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
