Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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