So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
