i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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