I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.