Nicole vs. Life
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.