I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
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Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder