No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So many bounce houses so little time
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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