im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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