Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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