Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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