The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize