the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
