So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
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