do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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