I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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