he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
