so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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