Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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