i think my mom watched the whole time
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
