Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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