I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
