i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize