Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs

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(615): View more from Tennessee

New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs

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(917): View more from New York City

It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend

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(303): View more from Colorado

I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college

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(443): View more from Maryland

I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity

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(207): View more from Maine

I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head

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