Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE