Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's blow job season.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion