I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
