I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
