is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
