Can i not drive my cunt home
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
