Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
