I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
