she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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