...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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