Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
