I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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