I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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