You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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